That's What Happens When
by InsanelyWitchyMarauderette
Summary: You break up with your boyfriend, flirt with a seeming stranger at a drinks table, and start fake dating a fore mentioned stranger aka Draco Malfoy, who also has an ex who 'broke his heart' who he never liked anyways, but likes revenge. Though he also likes the benefits of getting to stare at Hermione Granger. R&E&R, IWM Production
1. Broken up Reunion

First chaptered Dramione story. Sorry in advance for any mistakes.

Hermione POV

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was so different from my seventh year, three years ago, although it still felt like yesterday that I verbally sparred with Malfoy, even though I haven't seen the bloody ferret since he left Hogwarts in a Ministry car.

Sure, he was in the newspapers, being the Head of Department in the Ministry of Magic, and I worked with him long ago, but I didn't really remember what he could look like.

I got back to the problem at hand, and looked at my reflection again, taking in the flowing, floor length, deep red ball gown for the formal Hogwarts Reunion of The Savior's Year, being sponsored by none other than Narcissa Malfoy, most probably trying to rebuild their social status.

I sighed and brought out the normal trainers, which I then grinned at.

I tapped my wand on them, and they now looked like gold and scarlet high heels, which was all an illusion.

They didn't call me Brightest Witch of the Age for nothing.

I put on the shoes, and Flooed Ginny, who had grown to be my best friend and personal stylist.

"I have taught you well", Ginny declared after five minutes of inspection and dropped the silk long sleeve of my dress.

"Ready to go?", I asked, looking enviously at Ginny's bright turquoise, strapless ball gown with the sequined, fitted bodice.

She sighed dramatically, "I suppose so", and grabbed me as we Apparated onto the doorstep of Malfoy Manor.

I took a deep breath, and Ginny looked at me with concern.

"You'll be alright, Hermione?"

"Of course. We're only going into the ball room, not the drawing room, right?"

Ginny looked relieved, "Yes! That's right"

Harry apparated just at that moment, panting as though he had run a marathon.

"Sorry I'm late Ginny", he kissed her cheek.

She blushed and asked me, "Would you like to wait for your date or come inside?", Ginny asked.

"I think I'll come inside", I laughed, hiding my annoyance at Ron's complete lack of punctuality, "It's cold enough out here, even with these sleeves", I held up my completely encased hands.

We went over the threshold together, and were led into a large ballroom, with many people already there, in black ties and ball gowns, most which showed much more skin than my closed necked, slightly loose, long sleeved gown.

"Hermione", Ron showed up behind her suddenly.

"Oh, yes, Ronald", she smiled, as he took her hand to dance.

"So, is there anything wrong, at work or anything?", I asked, as Ron wasn't his usual, chatty self.

"Yes", he said suddenly, whipping his head to face me.

"What?", I asked, concern lacing my voice.

"You. And us. I can't be your boyfriend anymore. You're never fun, or wear anything…", he struggled to think of a word, "Pretty anymore. Why can't you dress like at the Yule Ball?", his voice grew steadily louder.

I tried blocking him out, and keeping my tears in check. "It's just wrong that I should lead you on like this when I'm your first boyfriend—"

"Viktor Krum", I interrupted him loudly. "Does that ring a bell Ronald? Because this might ring an alarm in your thick skull. I'm breaking up with you", I turned and made composed steps, at least as composed as was possible, towards the drinks table.

**In this they are all twenty to twenty one years old.**


	2. Where to put your mouth

So, I'll be updating probably everyday until Monday, because my school has holidays.

Afterwards, Hermione had escaped into the bathroom to let a few tears trickle down her face.

After she wiped up her eyes, and pointed her wand at her face to reapply the minimalist look and get rid of the puffiness.

She walked out, trying to keep her old bounce in check, repeating mantras that many of her fictional book characters used—but they failed.

_Writers really need to base things off personal experience_, she thought, slightly annoyed, but giggled at the sheer silliness of the thought.

Hermione picked up an icy drink and took a delicate sip. Mm, Scotch on the Rocks, great to match her simply perfect mood.

She tried to think of one time she really thought she was in love with Ronald Weasley.

She came up with none; not even when they kissed during the War.

Her spirits lifted as she absent-mindedly looked around, and spotted Ron.

Think of the devil, she thought sarcastically, until another dancer moved and Hermione saw he was with someone.

And not just any someone. That someone was a girl, cuddling into Ron's cheek.

Both of their lips looked slightly puffy, like they had been snogging before.

Her spirits plummeted, but then looked back up when she also spotted Ginny giving her brother the _Look, _which said, "You are so getting a Bat Bogey Hex later".

"So, why is a pretty Lady like you looking at an ass like Weasley?", Hermione turned to meet the owner of the eloquent sounding voice, even while swearing.

"Oh, besides the reason that he's my boyfriend from two minutes ago? I got nothing", she answered, sarcastically.

"Hmm, as quite a coincidence, that girl is also my ex", the man answered in a somewhat bitter, yet satisfied, tone.

Something about his voice sounded familiar. Maybe from how he looks?, she thought.

He had chin length platinum blonde hair and blue-grey eyes, with a tall and slender build, like Harry's.

"Unless fate wanted us to meet…or something", Hermione said.

"Then I guess the World loves me…or something", he laughed as a slight blush crept up her cheeks.

"Well, I don't believe in coincidences", Hermione leant forward and smiled, slightly flirtatious.

"Neither do I", he leant forward, and their faces were barely inches apart.

_Oh my Merlin_, Hermione thought nervously, _Hermione Granger is flirting_.

"You know, I'd really like to know your name", she whispered.

He smirked. There was something familiar about that smirk…

"Draco—" Hermione straightened up almost immediately and nearly yelled, but instead said in a very high voice, "Malfoy!"

Then he straightened up as well and squeaked in a voice many octaves lower, "Granger!"

Another shout came from Ron's little corner.

"Hermione!", and as a growl, "Malfoy!"

"Drakie!", the girl he had been cuddling, Rita Kahn, cried.

"Hermione!" Ginny yelled, her wand at the ready to hex either Draco, Ron or…

"Draco!", Blaise Zabini called as he walked through the Drawing Room doors.

Everyone froze, just long enough for Hermione to take out her wand and stuff her little beaded purse into an invisible dress pocket.

Then, simultaneously, everyone started yelling and swearing and panicking.

Draco made a shushing movement with his finger and laid a hand on Hermione's shoulder.

They apparated near a small diner, where they landed safely.

"Are you up for coffee?", Draco asked casually, like they hadn't just been ambushed verbally by a bunch of angry and shocked ballroom dancers.

Well if he could be calm, so could she.

"Sure, if you can stomach it"

He smirked.

"A Malfoy can stomach anything, Granger"

"Even firewhiskey?", she taunted.

"Sure I can, but what about the Pure Gryffindor Princess?"

"I can hold my liqueur fine"

"Put your money where your mouth is?"

"Of course"

"Then we'll discuss over drinks", he grinned and grabbed her hand and apparated, with Hermione asking, "Discuss WHAT!", but they had already disappeared.

Long enough? R&E&R 


	3. The next morning shopping

The next morning, Draco Malfoy had a headache.

That was the first thing he was aware of when he woke up—never had he ever had such a severe hangover from a bottle of Firewhiskey.

Maybe it was more than a bottle, but it was still one whopper of a headache.

The next thing was that he was in a room other than his own; he pulled that from the mass amounts of pink and purple.

Then, Draco Malfoy was aware he was still in his same clothes from yesterday. Not all of them though; his cloak was flung over a fuchsia chair and his tie was on the overhead post.

And the last thing he was aware of before he screamed like a little Muggle girl was that there was a body beside him.

This wasn't an unusual occurrence though. Draco Malfoy was a man of many ladies.

Though he had been dating someone for the last month or so, a body would still be there.

But the body would certainly _never_ be Hermione Granger's.

That's when Draco screamed like a little Muggle girl.

Hermione Granger woke up to a screaming man that sounded like a little girl.

That, added with the hangover, gave her a very, very bad headache.

"Shut up", she groaned, and dragged a pillow over her head.

Hermione Granger might be a morning person, but having a hangover just made the appeal of sunny mornings and chirping birds go away.

That's when Logic took over.

Why had a man been screaming? Hermione Granger sat up in bed to find out.

"MALFOY!", she yelled, and toppled back over in shock.

"Yes, Granger? The clothes aren't even off and you're yelling my name", he smirked infuriatingly.

"Shut. Up", she groaned again, and got out of bed.

Hermione downed a potion from her drawer, labeled _For Hangovers_.

"Give me some of that!", Draco Malfoy snatched the vial from her half gulp.

He poured it down his throat, and was corked and placed back in a second.

Hermione glared at him, and grabbed her towel and clothes for a shower.

"Malfoy, stay here. We need to talk", she headed into the bathroom, and once Draco heard the water flowing for a second, memories flooded his head.

A gasp from the shower confirmed she was getting them too.

A few minutes later, Hermione walked out of the shower, shaking.

Her hair was damp and she was dressed in a loose turtleneck and pants.

"Good morning", Draco said brightly.

"Yeah, good morning", Hermione replied, a smirk gracing her features.

"Why are you dressed in work clothes on Saturday?", he asked, trying to sound civil.

"These aren't work clothes", she glared at him.

Draco raised an eyebrow, crossed over to the dresser and yanked open the closet.

It was filled with very modest, loose, and comfortable looking clothes.

Boring and prudish, in Draco's opinion.

"We're going shopping", he said flatly, and took her arm to apparate.

"Wait just one—", the rest of her sentence was cut off as they disappeared.

…

"Welcome back, Mr. Malfoy", a woman with graying hair said warmly as they dropped into the middle of a clothing store for women.

Hermione saw the first smile she had ever seen from him break out on Draco's face.

"Thanks, Ms. Dancling", Draco said sincerely.

"Are you looking for clothes for this beautiful young woman?"

"Yes, actually. Something to make her look absolutely stunning"

Five minutes later, Hermione was modeling an outfit consisting of a knee length black pencil skirt and a body hugging, purple, sleeveless shirt with ruffles.

Draco's eyes widened as he took her in.

"Great for work, right, Granger?", he recovered, and turned to Ms. Dancling, "Add this one to my store card"

She nodded and went away to find something else.

"Store card?", Hermione giggled in spite of herself.

"Yeah, so?", his eyes dared her to say anything.

"It sounds like you, Mr. Malfoy, are gay"

His eyes widened again in shock and his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.

Then, he leapt up and yelled, "GRANGER, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!", as he chased her around the store.

…

More than an hour later, Hermione and Draco walked out of the store giggling, and in between chuckles, he told Ms. Dancling to send the new wardrobe to Hermione's flat.

"Malfoy…why'd you do that for me?", Hermione asked, turning semi serious.

"Because, Granger", he smiled again and twirled her around, "I'm going to make you so stunning that Weasley and Kahn _die_ of regret when we start fake dating"

"What about all the beauty on the inside crap?", she grinned, feeling a slight pang at _fake_.

"Hate to say it, Granger, but you are already nice and smart. Now time for the hairdressers!", he took her arm and they apparated.


	4. Running from the French Hairdresser

**So, I have a lot of alerts and favorites, but barely any reviews. Hmmm…Review _please_?**

"Malfoy, why do you know a hairdresser?", Hermione asked smugly.

"My mother came here a lot and took me along! It's not my fault I've been deprived of toy broomsticks, it just shows my natural talent!", Draco protested.

"How did you get interested in Quidditch then?", her ears were pricked and ready to hear a story.

"How about we save that story for another time and place?", he grimaced.

"Oh, come on—"

"Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Granger, Andre is ready to see you", a professional voice came from in front of them.

"Oh, yes", Hermione turned her head so fast, that Draco was hit in the face with her improvised ponytail.

Hermione walked in with her usual business gait, calm and confident, but not too confident.

"Good morning Andre", Draco said offhandedly from behind her.

"Ah Draco, didn't I tell you not to walk in on my other appointments? Good morning, Ms. Granger have a seat", the Frenchman gestured towards the chair in front of the mirror.

Hermione sat down, and said, "Thank you, and good morning to you to. And Mr. Malfoy is the one who dragged me here, anyway"

Andre's eyebrows shot up to his neat fringe.

"And what happened to the _tete de ananas_, Rita Kahn?"

"Gone, hooked up with her ex", Draco jerked a thumb at Hermione.

"_Oui, Oui_, now leave the master to his work!", Andre chased Draco out of the room.

"You have great potential to be gorgeous, Ms. Granger, even more beautiful than the bitch Rita Kahn", he said in a perfect English accent, twirling around the chair.

"First, call me Hermione. Second, is the accent for male jealousy?"

"Of course, Hermione. Who's your icon?"

"Well, no one in particular, how do you think Draco and I could make _her_ jealous?"

"Ah, yes! I shall make you the most beautiful girl in the world! Kat, Jen, we have work!"

An hour later, Hermione blinked at her reflection.

"Wow, Andre", Hermione breathed, touching her silky hair that curled at the ends.

"When does it go frizzy again?"

"Never!", he laughed, "Just take care of it, and you'll have perfect hair forever"

"A miracle worker, you are. So getting a bonus", Hermione muttered.

Andre looked offended.

"No, I shan't take the money. But I do have one request"

"Name it. I'll steal from Malfoy Manor if I have to"

"For you to come again, and never offer me money"

"Fine", a plan was already in her mind, anyway.

"So what do you think, ferret?", Hermione twirled around, her hair and dress fanning out.

Draco just stared at her for a moment or two, gape mouthed, but then said, "Not too shabby, beaver"

"Come on, Draco", Andre appeared, "Admit you would like to, what do you call it, snog—"

"Go away!", Draco stuck his tongue out.

"I shall give you lovebirds some private time", Andre winked and left.

"Where's a good vase for leaving money?", Hermione looked around.

"Just leave it on the couch", Draco dropped a small, but heavy, bag of Galleons on the leather sofa.

"And run like hell, but for the love of Merlin's bottom, blue, grease painted fat lip, QUIETLY!"

"Did I hear you yell something, Draco?", Andre called from his office, and they heard footsteps.

"RUN!"

As they ran like the devil was on their tails, Hermione muttered things like, "Can't even follow his own rules" and, "Too contradictory to be healthy"

But she had on a smile, as did Draco, who finally got her to smile, which was why he was smiling.

All was well.


	5. A Fluff and spying

I just read the last chapter. Ugh. Beta readers, anyone?

Panting and laughing really did a number on your sides, Hermione thought as she tried to catch her breath.

Draco and Hermione were leaning against a stonewall in Diagon Alley, laughing like idiots and panting, trying to catch their long gone breath.

"Well Draco", Hermione drew in a breath, "You sure can run fast for someone who was a Quidditch Captain"

"I'm more surprised that you can. Did you see how alarmed everyone looked as we ran past them?"

"Yes, it was like they thought a bomb was going to go off", Hermione's lips twitched up.

Draco looked lost for a moment, before slowly saying, "A…bomb?"

"Seriously?", Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Come on, just tell me!", Draco persisted, and stamped his foot dramatically.

"I'm enjoying your discomfort, way too much for that", she smirked.

"This is killing me!", he groaned.

"Do you really want me to attempt to kill you with words?", Hermione started threateningly.

Draco quickly shook his head.

"Good boy", she gingerly patted him on the head.

"Don't act patronizing, that's my job", Draco narrowed his eyes at her.

She opened her mouth to reply sarcastically, but from behind her, he saw two people moving, staring at them and fidgeting restlessly.

Draco placed his finger over her lips.

He felt something run from the finger he still had on Hermione's lips to every part of his body, putting him on high alert.

Draco squinted again, and saw the unmistakable red and black heads.

Without having the slightest time to think of it, he kissed her full on the lips.

Hermione couldn't for the life of her find out why, but it must be a good reason, for Draco Malfoy of all people to kiss her in an abandoned part of Diagon Alley.

So she kissed back and played along, wrapping her arms around his neck.

That's when they heard the loud, "Ptui!", and broke apart as they watched Rita Kahn stalk into the opposite direction she and Ron had been supposedly walking in, with Ron chasing her, stopping every now and then to stare.

"Well, that went well", Draco said calmly. "I'll pick you up tomorrow for our first public appearance. Be ready"

Then he apparated away, and left Hermione alone.

"Damn ferret", She muttered as she apparated home.

**Oh-kay, can anyone remind me what day tomorrow will be in this story? R&E&R**


	6. Knocking and Sensible Apparating

Since no one told me the story day, I had to check. It's Monday.

"MALFOY! What the hell are you doing in my apartment at bloody SIX IN THE MORNING before work!", Hermione yelled as Draco tripped, into what looked like a living room, from the fire, which was slowly turning from emerald green to its natural colour.

He raised an eyebrow and brushed non-existent ash off of his traveling cloak. "I came at bloody six in the morning to make sure you're dressing properly", Draco then looked at her white, long sleeved button down and mouse brown trousers.

"Which you apparently aren't. Up", he pulled her by her arm to the room, a journey that involved a lot of biting and kicking as an ill-intentioned Draco tried to get her away from her book.

Finally, they made it to her closet, where Hermione was sitting on a chair, arms crossed over her chest and pouting at the loss of her loyal, interesting companion, the book.

"Stop being a baby", Draco admonished her, "And change into these", he tossed Hermione a white, form fitting button down and blazer with a knee length skirt, which she caught barely, due to having never learned Quidditch with Harry before when he offered.

"Fine", Hermione retreated into her bathroom with the bundle, slamming the door. Hard.

Draco sighed exaggeratedly, and sat to wait for her.

…

"Ms. Granger?", her assistant asked, astonished.

"Yes, Amanda, it's me", Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Did Ms. Weasley blackmail you by any chance?", Amanda joked, handing her a stack of bills.

"Nope", Hermione called over her shoulder as she took the paper work into her office.

"Then who—", she was cut off by the click of a door being closed, and sighed.

Hours later, while Amanda was packing up to leave, a knock was heard on the main department door.

She got up to answer it, but didn't need to, she realized, as the door was opened and the one and only Draco Malfoy strolled in.

"Is Grang—I mean Hermione, in at the moment?", he asked impatiently, while still managing to keep his tone somewhat polite.

"Yes, just knock on that door", Amanda pointed unnecessarily at the only door in the small room, clearly labeled:

Hermione J. Granger Head of Department

_Magical Creatures_

Instead of knocking, Draco opened the door with more force than necessary, and he heard a smash.

"OUT, Malfoy, OUT of my office, closed the door QUIETLY, KNOCK and WAIT FOR ME!", a very pissed off Hermione Granger shouted, pointing her wand at the broken lamp on the floor, which repaired itself and flew back to the shelf.

"Okay, Hermione, breath", Draco said soothingly, walking towards her cautiously.

"NO! OUT, MALFOY!"

He followed her instructions, and while waiting for her to answer, Draco saw the I-told-you-so look on Amanda's face.

"Come in!"

Draco slowly opened the door, and was met with the sight of a ready Hermione, not a hair out of place, papers, which had been everywhere minutes ago, were stacked neatly at the edge of the desk.

They walked out of the office, and Malfoy subconsciously glared at every person who dared to give Hermione the once over.

When met with "The Malfoy Glare", everyone looked away, except for when Draco's eyes met shocked emerald green, topped with a lightning scar. Then, Malfoy looked away and yelled, "RUN!"

Instead of running, Hermione looked at who Draco was attempting to run from, froze, shook her head to clear it, screamed, and apparated both of them to her flat in a matter of seconds.


	7. Beavers, Ferrets and Seconds

**My goal this time is to have as many reviews as the alerts. Please?**

****The second the two of them landed in Hermione's apartment, she turned and disappeared again without waiting for Draco to catch his breath, once she saw Harry and Ginny.

They were transported to a local motel just a little away from the fancy restaurant Draco had made his reservations in.

Changing in a small, cramped, dirty place was extremely hard for Hermione, but she managed to change into a silk grey puff sleeved shirt and skirt while still looking presentable. She brushed her hair properly, determined to look cool and collected enough to spark the jealous fire that had recently taken over Rita's eyes whenever she saw them, but get more and more resigned everyday.  
"Ready!", Hermione yelled, swinging open the door. Draco was lounging on one of the plush couches, acting like he owned the whole damn world, a bored expression on his face.

"About time, Granger", he took his time to get up from his seat.

She didn't answer, but immediately her brow scrunched up, as did her nose. "What about Harry and Ginny at the apartment?"

Draco's bored expression dissolved into one of slight worry, wondering how The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die would kill him slowly. His mind jumped back to the stupid booklet he got from his dad when he got The Dark Mark. Pancake curse, perhaps?

"We'll deal with Scarhead and Weaslette when we get back", he said dismissively.

"Don't call them that", Hermione had her Shrivel-up-and-die-or-apologize look on her face.

"Fine", he huffed, and started walking, not heeding Hermione's shouts of, "Slow DOWN!"

Suddenly, a spell hit his back, and he went still. Hermione had put a Freezing Charm on him.

She walked up at a leisurely pace, and smirked _his_ trademark at Draco.

"Now, slow down, Mr. Ferret Malfoy, otherwise I'll _make_ you", Hermione stressed the word menacingly and cast the counter curse. The pair walked to the venue, Draco taking exaggeratedly slow steps, until Hermione pointed her wand.

At the restaurant, they were met with a thousand and one flashing bulbs, and endless questions.

"Yes, this is my girlfriend, Hermione Granger. Now SHUT UP!", Draco yelled. The chatter immediately ceased, so quiet you could hear a pin drop, apart from the scribble of notes. A reporter at the back suddenly called, "KISS!", breaking the silence Draco and Hermione were just about to escape. They exchanged a look, and gradually, all the reporters started to chant, "KISS! KISS! KISS!"

"Draco Malfoy is my boyfriend, and we are grown ups, not hormonal teenagers ready to kiss on the doorstep!", Hermione yelled. It went deathly silent again.

Then another reporter had to ruin the new escape plan, "PROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!", and was answered with multiple choruses of confirmation.

"What the hell", Draco shrugged and the next thing Hermione knew, his lips were on hers for the second time in two days. She was tempted to deepen the kiss, but moments later, he broke off the connection, and although he was feeling a spark he never had before in his lips, he thought the media had enough.

Then, Draco linked their arms and asked, "Ready?"

"I guess", and they dodged through the crowd of reporters until they were inside the restaurant.

Unfazed, the maitre d' asked, "Under the name Malfoy Ferret?"

"What?"

"It was booked under the name Malfoy Ferret, sir"

"...Hermione?"

"Um...yes?"

"You're a beaver", and with that, Draco stalked after the maitre d'.


	8. Yelling in a fancy restaurant

"I am most certainly not a beaver you foul, evil, slimy cockroach!", Hermione sniffed after a long period of silence at the table, to break the ice, instead of her usual accidental-on purpose sneeze.

Draco's lip twitched, fighting a smile at her choice of ice-breakers. "You say foul, evil, slimy cockroach like it's a bad thing"

"Most people would classify it as that"

_Just seconds after Malfoy was warming up, he just had to go and mess it up. Not really his fault, but everything is his fault, _Hermione thought, as suddenly his whole demeanor changed. He wasn't smiling anymore and dropped his head to her eye level.

"Granger, act natural. Scarhead, Weaslette and Weasel just entered the restaurant", Draco whispered.

She snorted at her minimal volume, and acted as elegant as possible throughout the meal until the end of the main course. As she left the table to wash her face and hands, a niggling doubt entered her mind, unsolicited.

Seeing as Hermione was looking to banish the persistent thought, she had to follow, so while leaving the table, she gave Draco the slightest peck on the cheek.  
Just a kiss. But why the hell did it make her feel all the more sexy? Letting go of herself for a moment, she skipped happily on the way.

That's when it all went horribly wrong.

"Hermione?", Ginny called loudly. Hermione froze.

"Hermione!", Harry and Ron shouted in unison, and all eyes turned to Draco, who was smacking his palm on his head repeatedly.

"MALFOY?"

"Granger!"

"Malfoy?"

"GET US THE HELL OUT OF THIS PLACE, WOMAN!"

To which the guilty apparated to Hermione's apartment.


	9. Interrogations, Dramatics and Bat Bogeys

**No reviews? Oh, wait, one. I got ONE review out of FORTY alerts. Doesn't that seem odd? Okay, it may be exam time for you, but still? R&E&R**

****Back in her apartment, the one safe haven she had carved out for herself, she was being stared down. Stared down and will be interrogated. Like the Spanish Inquisition preformed by the British as a favor in repayment for having wrecked their battleships.

But Hermione Granger refused to be put down like a pig for slaughter.

The minute Ron opened his big mouth, Hermione punched his jaw. His hand flew up to it, stunned.

"Out!", she managed to yell through blind rage and gritted teeth. "Out of this place you left and never looked back at! Out of this place and go snog your new fling! JUST GET OUT AND LEAVE FOREVER, RONALD BILLIUS WEASLEY!"

Ginny's brown eyes narrowed.

"New fling, eh Ron?", and she then demonstrated that she hadn't lost her touch at casting a kickass Bat bogey hex.

The rotten arse was out two seconds later.

Switching instantly back from I'm-gonna-kill-my-brother-with-a-runny-nose mode to Harry Potter's girlfriend, she asked the aforementioned, "Are you alright Harry?"

He nodded mutely, sitting despondently.

"No interrogation? Thank Merlin", Draco whispered to Hermione. He spoke too soon.

"That reminds me", Ginny waved her wand and the room went pitch black. Another wave and there was a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling and two chairs.

Two hours later and an emotional breakdown from both Ginny and Harry each, Draco Malfoy was deemed "Almost Suitable. Will do" to date Hermione. Seeing as Ginny's brain wasn't exactly working, she and Harry did not see the double meaning, until Hermione started to giggle at Draco's considering face looking at Ginny and muttering statistics, whereby then Harry looked horrified.

"MALFOY, YOU DAMNED BOUNCING FERRET!"

"BACK OFF POTTER, I'M A WIZARD!"

Which then the silliest battle of words ensued with a confused Ginny on sidelines, until Draco confessed he wouldn't touch the Weaslette if she begged him.

To which Draco was the second recipient of a Weaslette Bat Bogey Special.


	10. Meetings, Proposals and Emotions

"If we're going to be fake dating", a thoroughly annoyed Hermione said, "You should stop pissing Ginny off"

She said this while mopping up the mucus from Draco's nose and at the same time trying to get her wand out of her pocket.

Finally having wrestled her wand from her bag, Hermione preformed the counter curse.

"What if we weren't fake dating?", Draco smirked as the mucus stopped running from his nose.

"You wouldn't even be talking to Ginny, because you would be as scared of her", Hermione mirrored his expression.

"What if we were real dating then?"

"Like that will happen anytime soon", Hermione snorted.

"But what IF?", he emphasized. Draco continued to pester her on the subject until she hit him upside the head.

"Touchy, Granger, touchy", Draco tsked.

"Shut your mouth, Malfoy", Hermione snapped.

Cautiously, Draco patted her arm.

"Does someone need a hug?", Draco joked weakly.

To his great surprise, as well as Hermione's, she hugged him, and he awkwardly patted her back. She pulled back quickly.

"What was that for?", Draco asked dumbly.

"You asked if someone needed a hug", Hermione said innocently, "I thought you were hinting that _you_ needed hug"

"I meant you"

"Why would I need a hug?"

"You were angry, and Weasley was here, and...", Draco stuttered.

Hermione laughed and gave him a swift kiss on the cheek. She blushed lightly and stood up quickly to get ready for her appointment with a certain Rita Khan, leaving a shell shocked Draco behind.

...

Hermione knocked on the door to Rita Khan's office, head held high.

"Come in!", an impatient voice called from the office. To Hermione this was a sign of gross unprofessionalism. To her, business meant no emotions whatsoever; no favoritism, no feelings, no one gets hurt.

She opened the door, though it was more slamming it open. Hermione spotted Rita sitting at a desk to the far left of the large room next to a window. A blinding rage start to eat Hermione from the inside, but she swatted it away and covered her eyes.

"Ms. Khan", Hermione strode towards Rita and extended her hand. Rita looked up in shock. Again, Hermione saw the fire in Rita's eyes, jealousy, then resignation, and finally understanding.

The last staggered Hermione. She always assumed that Rita was, frankly, a bitch.

Of course, Hermione was experienced in the situation whereby she was wrong about someone, but it happened so fast, so sudden.

"Take a seat, Ms. Granger", Hermione sat down immediately, and wondered why she listened.

"Thank you", they both blurted out at the same time.

Hermione gestured for Rita to speak first.

"For punching Ronald. His complaining about you was an excuse for me to throw his sorry arse out of my flat"

"Pleasure. For throwing Draco Malfoy into my life"

"Kind of guessed that one. Is he proposing yet?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed, and Rita quickly said, "I just assumed-"

"Wrong. You assumed wrong. A pleasure meeting you, Ms. Khan", Hermione said stiffly, and apparated straight back to her flat.

There, she grabbed Draco by the collar and pushed his surprised mouth to hers. They kissed for a long moment, before Hermione broke it, and before he could ask, she yelled, "OUT!"

He complied quickly and Hermione crashed on her sofa, burying her head in her arms.


	11. Blank Expressions

Another knock on the door.

And another.

Finally, Hermione broke, and yelled, "Come in!", and in walked five people; Harry, Ginny, Draco, Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini, the last two which she had not seen since Hogwarts.

"Normally," Pansy started, "Blaise and I would start the usual questionnaire assigned to all new girlfriends of Draco", to which Blaise nodded and smirked, as Draco shot him a look.

"But," Pansy continued, "We've known you since Hogwarts, and, hate to say it, but you're the best match for our little brother Draco there is"

"Little brother! We're not even directly related!", Draco protested, and paused, "Or are we?", cue the horrified look.

"Shut up, Squirt", Blaise grinned, patting Draco on the head though he was a few inches shorter than his 'little brother'.

Draco opened his mouth to protest, but just at that moment, Ginny chose to yell, "EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Everyone else besides Harry and she looked taken aback.

"Ginny and I have an announcement to make", Harry declared. Everyone looked at them, and they looked back.

"Yeah, on with the announcement?", Hermione asked, with an air of deadness about her.

"Er...well...", The couple exchanged a looked.

"We're getting married"

After they both simultaneously announced this, several things happened. First, Blaise and Pansy burst into awkward applause.

Second, Draco looked blank and just as dead as Hermione.

Third, Hermione stormed out of the room, purposely stepping on Draco's foot as she went.

"Um", Ginny muttered uncomfortably, "That went well"

"Yeah...", Pansy looked at the triplet expressions on the men's faces of dumbness


	12. AVPM References and Deja vu

"Go. AWAY!", Hermione threw a shoe at the door. It hit home with a _THUD!_ and bounced to the floor uselessly.

Despite her instructions, she heard the door open and on cue, buried her head in her pillow.

Hermione curled herself into a ball and felt five people settle on the bed around her. "Go away", she mumbled into her pillow half heartedly.

She heard four simultaneous sighs. There was a thing about Hermione.

Her Insight. When she was upset or angry, her five senses sharpened up. Whenever that happened, one particular sense would sharpen up.

This time, her hearing was fine tuned enough to hear the cold that Ginny was hiding as she sniffled a bit.

She heard Pansy shift on the bed, clearly uncomfortable with being in a supposed unpure witch's house.

She heard Blaise pat Pansy on the shoulder, consoling her.

She heard Harry adjust his perpetually crooked glasses as the peeling Spello-tape rubbed the bridge of his nose the wrong way.

But she didn't hear Draco. This panicked Hermione. She pricked her ears and wiggled about, trying to get a better frequency. She was worried, and when Hermione was worried, her mind went to the least possible worst case scenario.

She thought that maybe, just maybe, Draco had gone out, back to Rita Kahn. This, she knew, way back at her mind, was the least probable. What the most probable one was, she did not want to think, because it wasn't worst case scenario. It was best case.

Her thoughts were confirmed as a strong, warm pair of hands started to knead her shoulders. Her only thought was; _How did he know? How did he know it calms e down?_

Hermione's muscles loosened up, and Draco coaxed her into a sitting position. Her resistance crumbled.

Everyone was looking at her. She shifted uneasily where she sat. Her eyes darted, looking for and escape out of the tightly woven circle around her. Her mind leapt to her wand, which she then remembered to be forgotten in her dresser drawer.

"Oh shit", Hermione face palmed. It was quite a choice of words if they were your first in six hours, if you think about it.

"How ladylike", Blaise rolled his eyes as Hermione glared at him.

"Hand me my wand please, Zabini. In my dresser drawer"

"Why?", Pansy had a suspicious, protective gaze. Hermione figured that saracasm was the best answer for anything she didn't feel like answering at the moment.

"To drug and kill all of you and be put in Azkaban for twelve years before I break out to hug and kiss you, but someone will mistake it as drug and kill you while I say it in my sleep", Hermione said this all in a monotonic voice and with a straight face.

"Really?", Harry asked, not sure whether to be horrified that she would drug and kill him or flattered that she would risk her life to hug and kiss him.

"Scarhead, if Hermione drugged and killed us and was locked up for twelve years, we would be buried. She could not break out, dig up five graves and hug and kiss each of our dead bodies, which would be decaying masses of bugs, hair clumps and rotting bones by then.", Draco snapped irratibly.

"I knew that!", Harry protested.

"No you didn't!"

"YES, I DID, YOU DAMN BOUNCING FERRET!"

"BACK OFF POTTER, I'M A WIZARD!"

**Deja vu and A Very Potter Musical reference. Find them, get a shout out in a chapter. Right answers will be mixed and drawn. R&E&R!**


	13. The Portrait of New Years Past

**Goodness! I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. First NaNoWriMo, then a holiday, with about half of it without internet in any form or shape... Again, sorry... New Years' week special! Updates almost everyday until Jan. 14!**

Draco Malfoy strolled through the halls of his old school. Hogwarts hadn't changed very much since his repeated seventh year, besides most of the repairs from after the War. He grimaced mentally as he looked up at the two gargoyles guarding the office of Minerva McGonagall.

"Acid Pop", Draco had no idea what instinct told him to say this. McGonagall was the headmistress now, and he doubted that she liked candy very much. And yet, the doors opened wide enough to admit him.

In the office, Minerva McGonagall wasn't there. Her desk was completely empty and, Draco wrinkled his nose at this, decorated with Scarlett and Gold. "Good Morning, Mr Malfoy", Someone from right above the chair greeted him. This, of course, was no surprise to Draco.

"Good Morning Professor", He looked up at the portrait of the former Headmaster. His eyes still twinkled, and his beard was as white and long as ever.

"And will you now ignore your own godfather, Draco?", A more sarcastic voice asked from the right of Dumbledore's portrait. Severus Snape's eyes glinted in his pale face, framed by greasy hair.

"Why else do you think I'm here? It's almost Christmas and I'm supposed to help organize the Annual Ball. You tell me"

"I see you haven't lightened up at all since your Sixth year", Snape raised an eyebrow. At this, Dumbledore feigned sleep. Draco's face darkened, "Don't act like you haven't got a clue"

"About what?", Snape feigned innocence, which didn't come naturally to him, whereby he was left smirking. Draco glared back in return.

"About me and-", Snape cut him off with, "Granger and I. Grammar, Malfoy" Draco mentally face palmed. Once a teacher, always a teacher. But his plan worked, "So you did know"

Unfazed, Snape replied, "Of course. So why are you here, exactly? I sincerely hope you aren't demented enough to ask for advice from the man who about helped kill the woman he loved and her family, and still hated her husband, and tortured her son when he became his student", After his long rant, Snape looked at him, "Are you?"

"Well...", Draco smiled uneasily. Maybe I should've rethought my first decision, he thought.

"I can't believe that you were an advanced baby", Snape muttered as he shook his head miserably, "But I can give you this much", He looked Draco straight in the eye, "Don't lose the Gryffindor to another bloody Gryffindor"

**Ooh! I blended Snape/Lily and Dramione. Proud of myself. R&E&R**


	14. The Metaphorical Vase

Bleary eyed, Hermione opened the door. The insistent bell ringing stopped. Halfway through, Hermione actually opened her eyes, and nearly closed the door. All her muscles froze.

"It really has been long, hasn't it, Granger", the visitor stated amiably as she pushed the door open and entered herself, "Sixth year, I think"

Still mentally frozen, Hermione closed the door and turned back to the guest, who continued to remniscence, "Remember the good days, when Draco would call you a Mudblood, and earlier in our years you would come to the bathroom to escape him and-"

"Shut up", Hermione quietly stepped forward, and her voice grew stronger, "And get the hell out of my house" Acting as though she hadn't heard, the guest turned her inspection to a vase of flowers. She picked up the card among the roses' thorns and read it silently.

"What else has your dear Draco bought you, Mudblood?", she was still turned towards the wall, but her voice had changed drastically.

"You see that thing with the hinges? Use it", Hermione took a step closer to the guest, who turned faster than Hermione thought was possible.

"Stay away from Draco Malfoy, or I'll make you"

"Get out!", The guest stormed through the door and slammed it. The vase, which she had pulled to the edge, dropped to the floor.

Instead of shattering, two petals fell off. Hermione searched for small card which came with the flowers. A new one replaced it.

_A.G._

**Whoever can guess who the guest was gets a special shoutout in the next chapter! R&E&R!**


	15. New Years with Astoria Greengrass

**Most of you were right! Astoria Greengrass is your culprit. R&E&R. Late New Years' Chapter.**

_Pop!_

The bottle of champagne was forced open and fizzed over under Harry's hand. All of the graduates from their year clapped and surged forward to have their crystal glasses filled. "An hour till New Years!", Ginny shouted to Hermione over the noise. Both of them, as well as everybody else, felt giddy.

A New Year, A New Start. Ring out the old, ring in the new. All except one. Astoria Greengrass came on a mission.

The time passed quickly in a flur of chattering, hugging, kisses on the cheek and glasses of champagne. Someone from the blur yelled and pointed at the giant clock in front over the stage, "A minute till New Year!"

This sent everyone into a frenzy. All of the main heroes were sent up to the stage. Of course, some of them were just crowd favorites. This sent up a small fight, which ended in Hermione, Harry, Ginny, Blaise, Pansy, Draco and Astoria up on stage. Ron, of course, wasn't present, as at any sort of event which involved Harry, Hermione or Draco.

"Eight!"

"Seven!", People rushed to find their New Year kiss.

"Six!", Hermione wasn't sure whether she could kiss Draco or not, but he stood next to her and smiled.

"FIVE!", Draco cupped her chin in his fingers.

"FOUR!"

"THREE!", They both leaned in.

"TWO!", A hand gripped Draco's shoulder from behind and spun him around.

"ONE!" Hermione quickly stepped forward to look at who had spoiled her year already.

"ZERO!", Astoria Greengrass was kissing Draco Malfoy. He broke away and turned to Hermione, "I didn't do a thing, she-"

Hermione Granger punched Draco Malfoy.

Needless to say, it was The Prophet's most lively New Year Report.


	16. Drastoria Picture

"No"

"Please?"

"No"

"Please?"

"NO, Goddammit, get out of my house!", Hermione threw a rainboot at the door. It rebounded and lightly smacked her nose, "Ow"

"What happened?", his voice sounded concerned. Hermione whistled. She heard the satisfying sound of Draco being dragged away by his arms.

"Ferret!", she yelled to him for good measure. The picture of the kiss bombarded her mind again. Hermione curled up and clutched her head. That's all it was now, a picture. She hadn't seen a human for days, so the picture always seemed disfigured and disporportionate.

In fact, it was a million pictures. Even though she wasn't that good at drawing, or anything artistic for that matter, the same day the kiss took place, in an attempt to get it out of her mind, she went and bought a million art supplies. And here, she set up her studio.

There was black and white, colour, A4 paper and stretched canvas, Charcoal and paint. She even managed a collage. Each one of them was a picture of the kiss.

However, Hermione was proud of herself. The pictures were better than Dean Thomas had ever done, but perhaps because it was so permanent in her mind. She was almost on the verge of accepting it. Astoria and Draco. Draco and Astoria. Drastoria.

She giggled and said it aloud. "Drastoria", it was like a mix of Drastic and plethora, and for some weird reason, it also sounded like something you'd say during the Apacolypse. Drastoria.

A knock on the door interrupted her picking out a name for her new dictionary. "Hermione", Harry's voice was concerned, "Are you okay in there?"

"DRASTORIA!", she yelled back. Her face dropped. Drastoria. Draco and Astoria. Drastic Plethora. Apacolypse. Drastoria couldn't happen.

Hermione dooned her coat and threw some flew powder in the fireplace, "Malfoy Manor!"


	17. Merlin, Hermione and Frickin' Ways

Hermione landed in the Malfoy Manor, muttering, "No Drastoria, No Drastoria", over and over, steadily getting louder. By the time Narcissa was in her vision, she was to the point of yelling.

"Hello, Ms. Granger", Narcissa looked at her, "Are you looking for Draco?"

"Yes, yes, looking for Drasto- I mean Draco", she rushed passed her, and Narcissa called back to her, "He's in his room!" and settled down with the Prophet again, "She seems interesting"

Hermione continued to mutter. She barged into his room, "MERLIN, Hermione!"

"What about him?"

"Who?"

"What about Merlin?"

"He died and you barged into my room. Why?"

"Merlin died of severe Dragon Pox in the 1700s. I'm here because Drastoria can't happen"

"What the hell is Drastoria?"

"Circa an hour ago, A plethora of drasticness, or Draco and Astoria", to this, Draco face palmed.

"Seriously?", Hermione looked back with the most straight set face he'd ever seen.

"So are you with her?"

"Oh Merlin, Hermione, No frickin' way!"

"Am I Merlin or Hermione? Make up your mind"

Then, Draco Malfoy made up his mind. He got up, kissed Hermione softly on the mouth and said, "You're mine"


	18. A Visit and an Invitation

A knock on the door interrupted the two.

"How cute", Astoria sneered, walking in uninvited, "Draco _Malfoy_ and Hermione _Granger_"

The way she said it made it sound like she was emphasizing their family names, warping them into the epitome of evil.

"Why are you in my house?", Draco exclaimed, picking up his wand quickly. Hermione followed as well.

"To congratulate you, of course", Astoria didn't even try to feign innocence or niceness, "And invite you to a Spring Solstice Celebration"

"What?", they both asked is unison.

"At the Greengrass Manor, tomorrow night, I have arranged a gathering to welcome the coming of Spring. Will you attend?"

Hermione and Draco exchanged a look. It was more of a conversation, really, telepathically, and it went like this:

_Why not?_

_Because she's a psychopath?_

_I could make up with Ron..._

_Then go yourself_

At this, Hermione gave him a glare, "We'd love to come", she slowly accentuated every syllable.

"Beaver", Draco muttered under his breath as Astoria left.

**I'm BACK! I think this may go to about twenty to twenty five chapters, really, so hold on for a bumpy beginning of Spring! Sorry for the long wait, R&E&R!**


	19. Artist of Drastoria Honour, Ms Granger

**Hmmm... I have 76 alerts. I haven't gotten a review since two chapters ago. why am I thinking that I should get 76 reviews per chapter, more or less? Really, my readers are very mean. I'll update as much as I can, truly. R&E&R**

Hermione and Draco entered the Greengrass Manor, arm in arm, to be greeted warmly by Harry, Ginny, Blaise, Pansy, Rita Kahn, the hostess herself, with a scoop scoping Rita Skeeter a little away from the crowd.

Astoria half smirked, half smiled as she led the pair into the drawing room of the house.

"As this is a Spring party, themed around artistic concepts", Astoria explained, "I've taken the trouble to arrange an art gallery to view at pleasure"

Attempting to stay polite, Hermione asked, "Which artists have you arranged for?"

With a sickeningly sweet smile, Astoria answered, "You'll see"

The party was held in the massive ball room. Dancing couples swished around he dance floor, in their fancy dresses.

Suddenly, Hermione felt almost under dressed. She had worn a floor length, halter neck in red and silver jewelry, both extremely simple.

Hermione and Draco danced for what seemed forever, served shot after shot. Hermione was merely uncoordinated by the time they moved to the gallery.

The first painting, displayed in a huge frame, taking up most of the central and peripheral view, brought only one word to Hermione's fuzzed mind.

Drastoria.

Hermione was the Artist of Honour with her plethora of drasticness painting.

The first word from Draco, however, was, "Oh, bloody shit"


	20. Happily ever after

**I believe... that this is the last chapter... Farewell, my fellow Dramiones! Farewell! Check end AN for more info on upcoming Dramione stories. This will be rather long...**

Draco Malfoy was, to say in the most correct form, quite pissed off.

Firstly, at himself. Why on _earth _he kissed Astoria was a mystery.

Oh, yeah, _she _kissed him. There was one part of anger off the list in his mind.

Next, Astoria. How she got the painting was beyond him. From his knowledge, she'd never been in Hermione's flat. So there was anger _and _mystery on that part of the checklist.

Just what he needed.

Lastly, was Hermione. Why did she even paint that thing? It made all about zero sense. Or more like negative a million, really, but that was besides the point.

_Why _was the point.

The scribbling of Skeeter's Quick Quotes Quill was what brought all of them out of their thoughts.

Hermione seemed to be muttering some word that made no sense to Draco. She finally spoke a little louder, and pointed at the painting like a little child, "Oh look", she observed, "It's Drastoria"

That word reverbrated around her head just about a million times in the space of a minute, transporting her back to the scene of the crime.

The clock striking midnight.

Astoria kissing Draco.

Hermione's vivid imagination created sub conscious stories the whole while since.

_Two little children, a boy and a girl, playing on a sprawling, well kept lawn. The boy had sleet gray eyes and mahogany hair. The girl had straight, blonde locks with summer green eyes. Behind them, a couple that looked like they might be their parents stood behind them. The man wrapped the woman in a shawl and gave her a long, slow kiss..._

"What in the name of Merlin's wedding lingerie does Drastoria mean?", Draco broke into her thoughts.

Not that he wasn't already in them, but...

"You and Astoria, of course", Hermione giggled, almost tipped off balance by her ferocious laughter.

Ginny approached Hermione like she was crazy on steroids, "The ferret not with Astoria", she said slowly.

Draco gave her an annoyed look, but let it pass, "Weaslette speaks the truth"

Hermione hummed and turned back to the portrait, "Best of my work", she acknowledged.

"Greengrass", Harry called her by her last name out of habit, "Why do you have Hermione's painting?"

With the most innocent expression on her face, Astoria replied, "Hermione gave it to me"

Luna stepped out of the crowd, along with Neville, "I don't think so", Luna observed in her dreamy voice, "You just narrowed your eyes at me, so I think I'm right"

"Like hell, Loony", Astoria snapped.

"Astoria", Hermione turned to face Astoria with the most deadly, murderous look in her eyes, "The flowers you gave me will go on your _grave_", and so Hermione shot a very angry hex at her.

Pansy, who was quick enough with her wand, deflected it, "Astoria gave you flowers?"

"Which kind?", Blaise interrupted Hermione before it was possible to.

"White daisies", Hermione answered, clueless.

All the Slytherins in the room exchanged an exclusive look. White daisies were _the _Slytherin flowers for underhanded deeds. Were you listening in on your girlfriend's conversations?

Send her enchanted white daisies.

Spying on your rival in business?

Casually hand them a white daisy at a meeting, for luck.

And, apparently, Astoria found a way to make them steal for her too.

"Astoria stole the painting from Hermione's basement", Draco told Harry, "And I believe that isn't legal, Auror Scarhead"

"Indeed it isn't, temporary Auror Ferret"

Harry threw some Floo powder into the fireplace as Ginny and Hermione held Astoria down at wand point.

Ron, of all Aurors in the whole department, came rolling out of the fire, "You called an Auror?"

At first, about a rough fifty shocked noises greeted the surly red head.

"Ms. Greengrass broke into Ms. Granger's flat and stole something", Harry explained to the disinterested Ron.

"So?"

"So, _arrest _her, you idiot!", Rita Kahn yelled. Ron gave the general crowd, because he couldn't see her in person, an angry glare and took a magically bound Astoria to the fireplace.

"Wait a second, Weasel", Draco said. Ron stopped, every muscle in his body tensed and rigid, and turned.

"What do you want, Malfoy?"

"For _both _of you", he nodded to Ron and Astoria, "To see this"

Draco knelt down on the waxed floor in front of Hermione.

"You, Granger, are the most imaginative girl I've ever met", he gestured to the painting of Drastoria, "The Brightest Witch of the Age, and probably the only one I can hold a decent conversation with. And I have one thing to say to everyone in this room"

"What?", Ron asked impatiently.

"From now on", Draco got up, "You may only call this lady Hermione Malfoy"

Hermione whacked Draco over the head, I won't marry you!"

"Why?"

"You didn't ask!"

Draco sighed dramatically and knelt down again, "Hermione Know-it-all Granger-"

"That's not my name!"

"I don't know or care what your middle name is, let me finish!"

When the room was quiet for a full ten seconds, Draco continued, "Will you marry me?"

"Where's the ring?"

"Er...", Draco rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, "I sort of forgot it..."

Hermione sighed elaborately, I'll marry you, anyway", she replied to an uproar of clapping, whistling, and Ron accidentally dropping Astoria on the tiled floor.

**YAY! It's finished! I may just do another Dramione, but I'm not sure. R&E&R. Look on my Profile and put me on alerts to see if I do!**


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